Unplanned Pregnancy – Part One

In September of 1991, at the age of 18, I discovered that I was pregnant. Yes, I was unmarried. Yes, the pregnancy was unplanned. No, abortion was not an option. And adoption, well, although I had the utmost respect for those who had made that decision, I could not imagine how I could bear the pain of giving up my own flesh and blood.

There are many details, especially here in the beginning that I must leave out to tell the story. As a details person, this goes against my nature, but I fear that too many details will obscure the story I need to share. And I do not want you to miss the real story.

Being pregnant did not change the relationship between my boyfriend and me. We were moving forward with our life plans. However, circumstances did change. I wound up selling my car and flying cross-country to stay with my sister for an undetermined amount of time.

Over the course of the next few weeks, the baby had given me a new perspective. I had tolerated some awful things and believed some unfathomable lies. That world unraveled as the view of my role as mother and protector of my unborn child etched onto my heart. It was as if I had been lost inside myself for several months…fading away…and the baby gave me a reason to reclaim myself. By the time I left my sister’s in Alabama for my parents in Arizona, I had ended the relationship with my boyfriend. In his defense, he did not walk away quietly, but not for any heroic or paternal reasons. And the more he persisted, the more I resisted.

My world was nothing dramatic as I settled in my parent’s condo. I did not have any big plans or even any grand ideas of what would happen next. At home, no one pushed, urged, or strongly encouraged me to do much of anything. I have no idea what was even going through my parent’s minds because they never told me. We never spoke about the future or even about the baby. They worked all day and I just sort of existed, hung out, watched TV, etc. Oddly enough, even at three (3) months gestation, I still had not seen an OB.

Back in my old room, in the extremely uncomfortable cheap bed, which had replaced my waterbed (now in storage) when, I had moved out about eight (8) months prior, I began praying every night. It did not take me long to see that this pregnancy was a gift from God. I did not understand it all. It made no sense why God would even want to rescue me while I wallowed in sin; defying everything, I knew. And I certainly could not explain how God would give me a gift through the sins I had committed.

One morning in November 1991, I was waking up to yet another day of my pregnant existence. Though I was yet unaware, today was a pivotal day. Today would change everything in my life.

There in the quiet of my room, barely a thought running through my head yet, I heard it. I know it was real and afterwards I heard others describe it in the exact same words. I heard the inaudible voice of God.

With love and gentleness, God spoke to me. He told me to pick up one of the phonebooks lying bedside my bed to find an adoption agency.

Had I doubted for one minute that it was God speaking, I would not have done it. However, there was something so undeniable about Him speaking that I did not hesitate even one second to do as He was instructing me. One thing I knew for sure, my mind had never entertained adoption.

Many times, I had envisioned God as intolerant and impatient. That day, that pivotal day, my view of God changed. He did not tap His foot impatiently as I flipped through the adoption agency ads…repeatedly. Instead, He lovingly waited for me to decide which number to dial.

I do not remember the exact day this took place, nor do not remember the exact words spoken between the adoption counselor and myself on the phone. What I do remember is God filling me with His peace from that day forward.

Unplanned Pregnancy – Part Two

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11 thoughts on “Unplanned Pregnancy – Part One

  1. Thanks for sharing your story. I’m sure it wasn’t easy then and I’m sure it isn’t easy now. (that may be the understatement of the year!) For years I worked as the director of a residential program for women dealing with unplanned pregnancies. I have supported many young women through the most difficult decision of their lives and I have never seen the Lord let them down! God is faithful! Thanks again!!

  2. Pingback: Unplanned Pregnancy - Part Two « The Mom-O-Sphere

  3. Pingback: Unplanned Pregnancy - Part Three « The Mom-O-Sphere

  4. Pingback: Unplanned Pregnancy - Part Five « The Mom-O-Sphere

  5. Pingback: Unplanned Pregnancy - Part Six « The Mom-O-Sphere

  6. Pingback: Unplanned Pregnancy - Part Seven « The Mom-O-Sphere

  7. Pingback: Unplanned Pregnancy - Part Eight « The Mom-O-Sphere

  8. Pingback: Unplanned Pregnancy – Part Nine « The Mom-O-Sphere

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