Unplanned Pregnancy – Part Five

Links to Part One, Part Two, Part Three, & Part Four are at the bottom of this page.

“…it is hard to convey in words all the love, happiness, and security we have to offer your baby!”

“We are interested in having an open adoption….willing to let you determine the degree of openness… At all times, you will have our love, support, and respect…”

“[Adoptive father-in-waiting] is hard-working, even-tempered, gentle and caring….puts family first…values honesty and the “Golden Rule”… [Adoptive mother-in-waiting] is a nurturing, “people-oriented” person…has many interests…will be full-time mom after we adopt.”

“We are Christians who value our faith, and believe in the power and importance of daily prayer and positive thinking…want to raise our children to be both humane and strong…who lives their own lives with strength and dignity. Good communication skills are one of the keys to good parenting…children should be listened to…allowed to express all of their feelings, even when their behavior is being restricted. Our adopted child will receive unconditional love…”

“…our hope is that you will be the special birthmother who will lead us to a child to love and cherish!”

At the time of my pregnancy, I didn’t know enough to trust that God, as the adoption was His will, had a plan for the whole thing. Rather than pray about choosing the adoptive family, I did the typical human thing…tried to use my own wisdom to “decide”. Thankfully, I had better expectations and desires for my child than I had a history of making good life decisions for myself. And I had the one true Father God working in and through this adoption, and around my stupidity and stubbornness.

DiDi was right. I wanted to choose this family.

In mid-April, about a month from my May due date, the family was contacted. A meeting was arranged and DiDi took me to meet the woman who would be my daughter’s mother. In a summary of the adoption experience, she writes, “I had one meeting with [Anne-Marie] and her social worker before [the baby] was born. I thought she was adorable. I found her to be thoughtful and intelligent. She seemed mature for her age (19) and had a wonderful sense of humor. And she was pretty too!”

At that meeting, I knew I had been given a wonderful blessing. Not only would my unborn child have the family she deserved, but there was no pretense with the adoptive-mother-to-be. She was as genuine as a person could be and she treated me just as their profile had stated with “love, support, and respect”. Through the eyes of an outsider, we would have seemed not only comfortable with each other, but as if we’d known each other forever. God’s peace continued to surround me.

Over the next few weeks, I focused on the adoptive family. Some might find it strange for me to say that I was excited for them. Through the letters that accompanied their profile and talking with the adoptive mother in person, I had come to know their longing for a child, the many times they ‘almost’ had a child, the counseling they had undergone for an open adoption, etc. I felt blessed to be the one God used in ending their 4+ year wait for a child.

To help facilitate an immediate bonding between the adoptive parents and the baby, I had already agreed to fore go the usual foster care and place the baby directly with the adoptive parents during the 3 day waiting period (the time allotted in my state for birthmothers to change their minds about adoption). After going to the hospital and enduring the strange registration process (They simply did not know how to treat me as a birthmother, it would have been better if we had not told them.), I decided to see if I could help with paperwork at the hospital. Via DiDi, I asked the adoptive mother if she had a name picked out yet.

DiDi called me the following day with a list of of 3 names the adoptive mother had narrowed it down to. I told her which one I liked best and she relayed the message to the adoptive mother. (We had asked at the meeting if we could exchange phone numbers, but the agency did not think it was a good idea, so all our communication went through DiDi until after the birth.) In the end, the name that I had liked best was the same name that the adoptive mother was leaning towards. With that, the name was decided.

And we entered the final waiting period…


Story Links:

Unplanned Pregnancy – Part One
Unplanned Pregnancy – Part Two
Unplanned Pregnancy – Part Three


Part 6 coming soon!

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7 thoughts on “Unplanned Pregnancy – Part Five

  1. You do seem like you were mature beyond your age. I am so enjoying your writing of your experiences, I am nervous for how it turns out for you, will be anticipating part 6.

  2. Pingback: Unplanned Pregnancy - Part Six « The Mom-O-Sphere

  3. Pingback: Unplanned Pregnancy - Part Seven « The Mom-O-Sphere

  4. Pingback: Unplanned Pregnancy - Part Eight « The Mom-O-Sphere

  5. Pingback: Unplanned Pregnancy – Part Nine « The Mom-O-Sphere

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